Sometimes it surprises me that family can hurt you so easily. I've had my share painful times due to my family. I'm the youngest of 5 so I've pretty much experienced it all. I've felt ignored by my parents because they were too busy dealing with my sister's issues or worrying about my brother's pot habit. I've felt hurt beacuse I virtually know nothing of my other sister because she doesn't want anything to do with my mother. Sometimes families suck. I've felt happy because they've given me my nieces and I've felt loved and accepted. I've also felt ashamed. Ashamed that my sister doesn't work, is on welfare, and always trys to manipulate everyone around her to make her life easier as she does nothing. But sometimes something happens that shocks me and wounds me so deep.
I've spent almost my whole life trying to do the right thing. To NOT be like them. To not become a teenage mother or do drugs or not finish school or any of the other hundreds of things that they have done. I've tried to be better and be a good role model for my nieces. But one thing I've never done is be a hypocrite and I seem to be measured by a different stick by my sister.
I've now been accused of being not only a bad influence morally but I'm also an alcoholic who's actively trying to corrupt children. Only the children in question are over the age of 18 and in college. Normally I would laugh this off but the hypocrisy pisses me off. I'm being accused by someone who not only supplied me with alcohol when I was a teenager but my friends as well. And she drank before she was legal so why now the change? Why the sudden morality? Why the bashing of my friends? WHY?! I have no answer to this question but the accusations still hurt.
There are a couple things I know for certain about myself. I am not perfect. I do make mistakes. I am NOT an alcoholic but I do drink alcohol occasionally and yes I do get drunk. I don't do drugs. I believe in GOD, although the practice may be eclectic. I am a good person. Maybe sometimes I just need to remind myself who I am and stop listening to others. No matter if they are family.
No comments:
Post a Comment